My Lessons from Grief: One Year Later

Today May 1st,2020 is known as “International Workers’ Day” or “May Day” throughout the world and it is a very significant day which gives recognition to the struggle for better workers rights across the globe. However, for me today has an even more important and personal significance. Today marks one year since my dearly beloved mother passed away. I remember everything as if it were yesterday and although she had been ailing for some time, her passing still came as a shock to me.This was the first time that I experienced losing someone that close to me and I needed all the help that could have gotten, especially in the early days.I am very thankful to all of my friends and family members who supported me during that difficult time.

Today I am still on my own journey of getting through the grief and I still have far to go.

You see that’s the thing about grief, you never actually get over it but you get through it. I was very close to my mother and her passing really turned my entire world upside down. So believe me when I say that my heart goes out to all of the persons in mourning worldwide,especially those who suddenly lost a loved one as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. I know it hurts right now, but trust me, it gets better with time.

As I reflect upon my experience with grief thus far, these are some of the important lessons that I have learnt.

Acceptance

Unfortunately, after the initial shock wears off, your journey of recovery only begins after you fully accept the fact that your loved one is not going to return. There is no getting around this. Sadly, there are many people who refuse to accept that their loved one has died and they end up living life stuck in the past. You don’t want to be that person and your departed loved one would not have wanted that for you either.

A support system is necessary.

It’s hard to grieve the loss of a loved one alone and some form of professional counselling is advisable as this would help you to process your emotions and avoid you burying your feelings. You can also talk to trusted friends, a pastor or other religious leader.

Remember the good times.

You never realize how much someone meant to you until they are no longer there. But that’s where your memories come in. Your departed loved one will always live on in your heart. So treasure the good times and be sure to forgive them for any wrongs even if you were not able to express your forgiveness to them when they were alive. Also forgive yourself, for any mistakes that you would have made in the relationship.

Give yourself time to heal.

As I alluded to earlier, you never quite get over the loss of a close family member or friend. However be sure to practice self compassion and give yourself time to go through the healing process. It’s also helpful to read about the experiences of others in dealing with their own bereavement. Writing about your experience with grief can also be therapeutic.

Faith helps.

During my time of grief, I’ve found it helpful to have faith in God. The Christian tradition teaches that this present life is not all that there is. But rather, we are spiritual beings having a physical existence; not merely physical beings.

If you are mourning the loss of a loved one right now, I hope that this article assists you in coming to terms with your loss. Be strong and stay safe.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to share it with someone who you think would get something out of it.

Follow me on Medium Colin Denoon and on Twitter @ColinDenoon.Send questions, suggestions and comments to colin.denoon@gmail.com